I often remind couples when they are going through problems in their marriage that before they can save their marriage from divorce they need to work on saving themselves.
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In other words they need personal healing and restoration. In utter disbelief they reply, "But I'm not the who committed adultery!" Or they say, I'm not the one with the alcohol problem; I don't need healing!" I believe it is time to get off the pedestal.
Sadly people are so wrapped up within themselves and their selfishness that they actually don't believe they need any kind of personal healing. But again, reality says that we all need some kind of inner healing, first, before we can even begin to be the loving and giving marriage spouses that God wants us to be.
Some people carry more baggage into their marriage than others but we all have had baggage at sometime or other in our marriage. The reason for baggage could be for many reasons; perhaps you had a bad childhood experience that is buried within your conscience. Maybe you were unloved or abandoned by a parent as a child. Or perhaps you had too many breakups and heartaches that the dating scene caused. And finally maybe you are just emotionally and spiritually immature.
Many pieces of baggage may be lurking within us just waiting to get out, while other parts of our baggage are buried so deep that we don't even know we are carrying it. Most of the time we don't do anything about the baggage and in our mind and soul there it sits for years, keeping us from fully loving others properly. Baggage causes resentment. The hard cold fact is you need forgiveness just as much as your sinning spouse needs forgiveness.
Accepting Christ' forgiveness for our weaknesses is how we heal. If we are holding in pain then we are harboring resentment. We must be willing, ready and able to give up our selfish lifestyle and start a new lifestyle with Jesus. If we're too proud to recognize our need for Christ in our journey in life then we will continue to limp through our marriage and other relationships just barely getting by.
SOURCE: Helium
Angie Lewis
